Sunday, February 14, 2010

On the map of your soul,
please mark the way
with bright signs that I can't miss.
Paint the door a strong color --
red, perhaps, or yellow --
so I will know when I have found you.
Brew coffee; set out mugs, cream
and a bowl brimming with sugar.
Turn up the music so I can hear the slide guitar
and the groove of the bass line.
Don't let me wander up and down
dark, unfamiliar streets to wonder
if I really heard your voice
or if it was just a dream, or the horn
of an angry truck driver.

8 comments:

Kayla said...

My favorite line of this piece was the very first line, "On the map of your soul." It took my thoughts in all different directions. I also think you have great imagery here and the poem reaches all five senses. I immediately thought of a bright red painted door and the smell of freshly brewed coffee as I read. To me it is a piece that began very tranquil and then switched paths quickly by the end; but I enjoyed this element. It was very well written!

Elisha said...

i love the line "paint the door a strong color--red, perhaps, or yellow--so i will know when i have found you." I feel like this would make a great song actually. it was very touching, i closed my eyes and could picture the scene with the music and the coffee.

RachelD722809 said...

Perhaps my favorite part of this poem are the lines
"please mark the way
with bright signs that I can't miss.
Paint the door a strong color --
red, perhaps, or yellow --"
I thought of it as a path in life. Many times, people are seeking clear signs or answers for life's decisions, or a yellow brick road to follow. These lines here exemplify that desire, even if only in part. The speaker is willing to make the journey and figure things out, but he or she wants to know when they have reached their desired target.

I was filled with the scent of coffee, the taste on my tongue. It left me with a sense of intimacy; close friends sharing the latest news in their lives over some thick hearty coffee.

The final three lines spoke truth to me. When you think you've heard someone, when in fact you did not but you still find yourself questioning.

-Rachel

redhead said...

Wow-the imagery in this is amazing, Ms. Mikoda. I loved the mental picture of the last few lines, when you talk about wandering in the dark, listening to what may only be the horn of "an angry truck driver."

starwatcher236 said...

How wonderful it is to get a reaction to one of my poems. And not just one reaction, but several! If there are soft spots that need to be cut out, it would be easier to discuss them with the positive comments ringing in my ears. Imagine, then, that I am an uncertain writer, a young writer. How much more helpful it will be for that person to hear you light on the high spots before you talk about soft spots that don't work so well. Food for writer conference thought...
Thank you all.

CassandraCaryl said...

Ms. Mikoda,

I love how you used such strong details in your writing (colors) I was actually able to picture the red painted door. But my favorite aspect of the poem is that you changed the tone with a one line:"Don't let me wander up and down." Great Work!

mdacostax3 said...

When I finished reading this my initial thought was, "I want to hear more." I feel as though you were beginning to tell a story and I just wanted to hear more. I wanted to know if you found who "you" was or maybe you already know who he/she is? I felt myself driving in a car, faster and faster-no destination just hope of finding one. Great Poem...can I have more?

starwatcher236 said...

Hmm, I'll work on that...this summer! LOL